ON a calendar of unknown awesomeness

heads up: never leave hipster glasses unattended near me. i'll do this ^^^

Today I'm looking forward to things that aren't on my calendar yet. Things that haven't been revealed to me yet.

I was thinking about all of the upcoming things I'm looking forward to in my life when I realized there are so many things to look forward to that are on their way to me, despite me not knowing it. Despite my fears that they will never come to pass, that I am not worthy of receiving them. Despite my desires to think that I'm in control, and despite my wanting to 'know the future'. It is not for me to control, it is not for me to know. What if we just kept our faith that we're being guided? That we're protected. What if we allowed ourselves the joy of looking forward to things that are not already set in stone as though they are just as scheduled as a coffee date with a girlfriend? I don't know about you but that seems way better than fearing the unknown.

So today, I can't freaking wait for the following:

1. Getting Married. Considering my favorite person to hang out with is myself, followed second by every dog ever, and considering it's really rare for me to be bowled over by someone and want to be with them all the time, I'm unclear as to when or if this will happen. So as of this blog post, I'm going with: this is totally on my 'unknown' schedule and I can't freaking wait. I mean plus, I'll be the best wife ever, obviously.

2. Being Famous. HELLO. Try being an actor, it's super fun. No, it IS super fun, but it's easy to start to feel like your whole career is in the hands of other people and that you have no say in it. (This is false, stop thinking that, silly actors!) I know there are a lot of actors who are all 'no, for me, 'tis only the art, i seek not fame' (apparently these people all speak ye olde english, in my head) but I'm all 'get me the heck on abcfamily already, would you?! i've got 14 year olds to get cult followings from!'. Or at least the kind of super successful where people are at least curious if they know me from something.
SIDE NOTE: while in LA, someone asked me what he knows me from, because he's definitely seen me in something lately. and I was all either that is an excellent, LA only pick up line, OR omg I look famous! Obvs I went with the famous storyline. Point is, I used to always wonder when my great success was coming but now? I know it's on my schedule. Bring it on when it's meant!

3. Having a home in both LA and NYC. Oh me, oh my. I can taste this one, it's so close. But it's so not for me to force or plan out. It will happen when it happens, and I trust it's on it's way.

4. Being worry-free about money and financially comfortable. Once upon a time, I knew this feeling, if only for a short time. However, I did not yet know the opposite feeling. I'm excited to get back to a place where I'm not worried about paying rent and bills every month, with my current knowledge of what it feels like to be unsure if I'll make it. It will make the sweetness even sweeter. This is on my calendar, I know the day is coming where I can rest comfortably, with a strong and steady income from doing things that I truly love.

5. Being of service, constantly. Serving by using my talents, serving by volunteering even more, serving by helping out with financial contributions, serving by living an even more joyful and loving existence. When I worry or get stressed, I tend to look inward and put all of my energies toward getting what I want and/or hiding from the world. It dawns on me, usually a little while later, that I may not be giving enough. And as I start to give and serve and lead with my gifts, I'm inundated with abundance. And thus, able to give more. I want this all the time. Not only to release those fears but also because that's what I feel we are all meant to do: give of ourselves the very best we have, which builds even more within us, and spreads our gifts to others. This is on the datebook, friends. It is there, right along side all the other amazing things I can't imagine yet.

6. Have babies. Like, one or five, or something. This seems downright impossible. First, item #1 on this list has to happen (I mean, fingers crossed, right?) and that seems daunting enough. But to then create another human with whoever that mystery person is? Or multiple humans? And take on those fears and stresses and unknowns? Seems like too much. I'm too much of a free spirit to do that sort of thing. Mama's gotta move around, take in the earth, be spontaneous. But you know what? I think it's on the calendar. No idea what the date is but it's on there in bright purple pen with a heart drawn around it. Maybe even some glitter, who knows!

7. Be a consistently working actor. Because fame sounds nice but this is the ultimate goal. Just jobs all the time. Good ones, with scripts that make my heart race and characters that make me fall in love with them. Theatre, TV, film, voiceover, and on it goes. The kind of actor that other actors hate because it's all 'um, can you leave me a job?'. I believe, friends. I believe! This is on it's way. This is on Kerry's Calendar of Life Where Dates Are Unknown But Life Is Amazing.

8. Save dogs even more than I am already helping to. Change the way the world views animals. You wanna talk about motivation for getting famous? People, I am going to tweet to my 8 million followers all about how to help save animals, knowledge about city shelters, ways to change things, info on how to adopt. Oh it will go on and on. I am doing as much as I can but I am so called to this. Which is why I'm trusting that this day will come. It's highlighted.

Eight seems like a good place to stop. You know I can go on and on. The point of this little exercise is that I'm already feeling thankful for these things, and I'm already exuding confidence that they are already on their way to me. I just believe. I believe, I know it, I trust. It's why I can look you in the eye and tell you my truths as scary as they may be. It's why I always just know what is meant for me. And if my choices are to know and feel frustrated that it's not happening yet, or to know and give thanks that it's on it's way. I'ma give me some thanks.

All right, do tell: what's on your unknown calendar? Also, do you have some hipster glasses that I could borrow? xo