On Giving

As the holiday season nears, I often hear people talk about wanting to do something for their community. Love this kind of talk, right? But I also hear chatter of not knowing where to start.

Thus, I present to you, a darn good helpful little ditty from Real Simple (real simple addict over here..).

This list has pulled all of their charity related posts, featuring helpful sites like Volunteer Match

and lots of tips for when and how to give. Delightful, no? Yes.

If you're anything like me, you're like wait wait how can I help the arts and/or animals?!

(You guys, I did say if you're anything like me..)

How wonderful of you to ask! Petfinder can help you find shelters near you that need donations of money or supplies, or volunteers to help with the animals. AND, get ready here because I'm about to blow your mind.. but, if you can believe it, volunteering is FREE! Seriously, that just bowled me over, I had no idea we could get anything for free! And my, oh my, oh my, we sure do 'get' so very much from sharing our time by helping others, right? Right, right, right indeed.

this is one of my favorite pups at BARC, miss colleen

As for ye olde arts, I happen to big a big fan and supporter of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.

This Broadway community staple raises money for what seems like an endless list - they truly cover such an incredible range of help. I highly encourage you to check out their site for more info.

with a cast full of people i love and a big ol' donation check to BCEFA

also, if you're not in the mood for gifts, you can sign up over at causes to ask for donations instead of presents for your birthday, a holiday, or even your wedding. you get to pick where the donations go!

and if you're like listen woman, i like presents.. perhaps you would fancy to make a donation to a charity in someone else's name. this will also mean one less tray of "i didn't know what to get everybody" brownies at your office. yes that's right: giving makes you skinny. you're sold, right?

happy beginning of the holidays, friends. xo

“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. 

I woke and I saw that life is all service. 

I served and I saw that service is joy.” 

- Kahlil Gibran

On the Dog Days of Summer

once, maybe twice a week, three times if i'm super lucky

i sneak off to Brooklyn and fall in love:

these babies are some of the dogs i've had the privilege of walking this summer.

each has given me a gift not only with their company but with a lesson:

Bella, with her long body and puppy-style walking, still figuring out how that tricky leash thing works,

plopped herself down next to the words you see above in the picture:

"A mini Tribe. Look it up. Thank you. - God"

and she gave me the gift of realizing i had stumbled into my very own mini tribe. a place that is bursting with love and welcomes you every time, no matter how long it's been since you've visited, no matter if you've never met each other before. the very definition of open hearts and open arms. at a time when i very much needed these things, i was lucky enough to find them. the gift of acceptance.

Dolores, with her giant puppy paws, and her love for chewing along the hemline of my skirt, had dodged death multiple times as she weaved in and out of traffic. eventually, some of the humans who stood by watching her, found some common sense and came to her aid. she was adopted then returned after a few days. but this little girl was flopping around on the floor, having the time of her life. she exudes joy and can't seem to figure out how to stop without skidding across the floor. you'd never know she's had a rough start. the gift of letting go of the past.

Colleen, a massive bundle of fur with a bright smile that spreads across her face when she recognizes me. colleen was the first pup i walked at the shelter and we've gotten several times to catch up. i tell her she's beautiful and she looks back at me and smiles, a thank you. she exudes the confidence of a woman who knows what she wants: each time she decides she's done with our walk, she. is. done. yanking me, she leads me back to the shelter, firmly and gently. almost to say "enough". the gift of knowing what you need, the gift of refusing anything except that.

and Staples. well, Staples and i fell in love, with his paws tucked under him, his eyes bright.

we met on a particularly achy day for me and there is not a trace, not an ounce, of sarcasm when i tell you he healed me up in a matter of 45 minutes. he gave me too many gifts to mention.

you can read about the lessons that he taught me here.

visiting these dogs reminds me of the beautiful truth that we really may only have this very moment together (as they might be adopted before i'm back) and so it's important to just enjoy every second. there is no need to hold on or worry they'll be gone - it's just how it is. imagine if we were that way with all of our humans: enjoying them, trusting if they're supposed to be in our lives then they will be, loving the time we're given without getting angry we didn't get more. can you imagine the peace?

i hope with my whole heart that i am able to give these incredible animals some sort of gift back. one of the great mystery's of the world, to me, is how anyone can be cruel to animals. just because they don't speak with words does not make them any less than us. they feel, they think, they love just the same.

and since they don't share in our words, it is up to us to speak up for them. if you see an animal being mistreated, holler yell scream at the top of your lungs make a fucking scene. think of the way they would come to your rescue and please do the same for them. okay - speech over :)

___

donate or learn more about BARC 

if you're thinking about getting a pet, please adopt

or volunteer at your local shelter first.

your mini tribe is waiting for you, too. xo

Tuesday's Thoughts: Staples

I immediately wanted whiskey. I have no idea where this came from - if you know me in real life then you know I barely drink at all, definitely never anything past a beer. Then, shortly after that thought: dogs. Whiskey and dogs would be my chosen medicine. So naturally, it was off to Brooklyn with me.

He brought him out from the back where the cages are and I just about melted into a puddle of love. "His name is Staples." We walked together, he and I, for awhile. Up and around a building that houses a bed I used to sleep in. Down to the area by the water where one of my favorite weekend activities is held. He slid snout-first into the grass as though he had never experienced such bliss. It was one of those moments where you feel your heart break and fill up with even more love at the same time. I eased down next to him, careful not to startle the little guy. As I touched ground, he moved closer to me, slowly but surely letting me scratch behind his ears, slide my hands along his back, give him a good long belly rub.

We had only known each other less than an hour but already had something major in common: we each recently lost our person. My best guess is that his was a touch more traumatic as I hadn't been left in a box somewhere in the Bronx, unable to speak the same word language as anyone around me. Yet despite that, within the hour, he slowly opened up, scooting closer to me each time we took a break, breaking into a smile when I looked down at him. He took my presence in and assessed the situation, knowing it would be okay, that he was safe. He learned to trust me in less time than it takes to bake a cake, to wash a car. Easily (and correctly) believing I would walk him back to his current home, that he would not be left again. He had a love in his eyes that I don't see in very many humans - he was freely expressing a deep desire to belong, to be held and touched and to be loved back.


How many of us could ask for those things from another so quickly? How many could do it after having just been abandoned? Let down and mislead by the person you thought loved you best. The person you thought you were safe with. Furthermore, how many of us could do this while we weren't totally sure what was going on or why we were where we were? I sure couldn't. But this tiny, furry baby did these things with ease.

And there, with the wag of a tail, was the very reminder I needed: we may not get to choose what happens to us but we absolutely get to choose how to handle it. We can hold on to painful feelings, create stories for ourselves to live by, refuse to trust again after having it broken. OR we can let it go, roll around with joy and immediately open up our hearts to more love. We can panic and let our fear run the show OR we can see that where we are is for a reason, even if it isn't very clear yet, and trust that it will be okay. We can think we aren't good enough or worthy enough to be loved OR we can see that we are enough, we are deserving of being loved and giving love. We can analyze for months OR we can shake it off in minutes.

It made me sad to finish my walk with Staples (who seriously needs not only a new family but a new name!) but I left our time together with more wisdom and peace than I had started it with. The incredible wisdom and love that comes from dogs - all animals - never ceases to amaze me.

Next up on the list: whiskey. But that, dear ones, is a story for another time.

truthFULL: phone calls

i'm listening to them on the phone; it's loud enough that i can hear both sides of the conversation. it's the fourth conversation in a row and i catch myself smiling at the way the story has changed from the first call to this one - little details and words swapped out, exaggerations made. i know there are at least a handful more in the very near future.

a relative has died.

my great uncle, the last of my grandpa's many siblings, passed away. over the phone, the tones in their voices smooth and soften and round in a way that people tend to do when they deliver and discuss certain kinds of news. they have a comforting musical quality to them akin to that of a classical piece whose melody you know perfectly and yet, you can't quite seem to recall the title.

earlier in the afternoon, another death happened. a dog, Yankee, in a shelter where i met him approximately once. for him, tears instantly fell down my face. my heart broke. the way i'm built, i fall to pieces over a pup instead of my great uncle. maybe it's because the former was abused, abandoned, thrown out with the trash. maybe because he didn't have the beautiful life every living creature deserves. maybe it's because i know the latter lived a full life. maybe because everyone knew it was coming. either way, i have to fight off the urge to think something is wrong with me and just accept it's who i am.

all in all, it's not been the best day. as i pause in the middle of writing this, my darling pup crawls into my lap. as much as i wish he were a lap dog, it's a pretty rare treat. i look down at his small body curled up and my heart bursts with love and i think - okay, tomorrow. tomorrow is going to be so excellent. and we sit, henry in my lap, my mom's voice floating through the line to whichever relative she's talking to now.

tomorrow will be excellent.

FULLlife: Birthday Baby

A lovely birthday weekend!

My birthday was May 20th and I've been celebrating for the past few days...

with family & my baby pup:

with beautiful flowers:

with delicious vegan food (even the non-vegans loved it!):

by visiting BARC shelter & raising $620 for them:

with my best friends (& kale juice, naturally):

with mani/pedi's with my mom & wine:

I love my birthday!

my favorite part of the celebrating was definitely visiting BARC

& being surrounded by people that I love!

looking forward to a few more celebrations this week :)

what do you do for your birthday?

GrateFULL: visiting BARC!

For my birthday this year, I asked friends and family to not buy me any gifts and instead, to donate to the Brooklyn Animal Resource Coalition - better known as BARC!

Yesterday, I visited BARC for the very first time! I got to walk this beautiful girl, Colleen!

Colleen, who is available for adoption, was so good on our walk!

She is a total sweetheart and has so much Love to give to her future lucky family.

She also put up with our mini-photo shoot & dealt with me leaning down to talk to her nonstop :)

While I was there, I also got to visit with the other dogs including Yankee, who is the main reason I fell in love with BARC. Pre-shelter, Yankee had both sets of paws tied up so long that he can't use the front ones. He has a rad wheelchair and can pick his head up pretty well. While I don't have any pictures (I was way too absorbed in loving him) I can tell you that little guy is the coolest. 

He let me pet him, wagged his tail and looked up every time I moved away from him, making little noises that I took to mean 'come back, come back!'. Pups like this (& every animal) deserve the best care in the world and I'm so proud to have raised some money for them this year. 

To those who've donated: thank you, thank you, thank you.

You have made this birthday the best one I've ever had.

My birthday is on Sunday, May 20th and I'm currently at 93% to my goal.

If you want to donate to my birthday wish, you can join in here.

You can learn more about BARC or donate directly to them here.

If you're a New Yorker, you can volunteer to walk a dog almost any day of the week!

(check the website for exact days and times)

Please, please, please: when it comes to pets, ADOPT and don't shop.

There are thousands of shelter animals waiting for their forever home.

Get educated, get informed & get active to help animals in need in your community.

It would be the best birthday gift in the world.

Big love & thanks to Rop, who runs BARC, for his gigantic heart,

for the tour of the facility and for answering my endless questions.

Many thanks also to Kaitlin for coming with me.