I've been circling around this theme for awhile now. Multiple conversations this week have addressed it. And all of these endless resolutions being made left and right. New Year resolutions make me nervous. A time when people look at themselves and proclaim what needs 'improvement'. What they can better about themselves, how they can fix something. Oof. Scary.
Here's the thing, and this is super important so if you only read one sentence on my blog today,
let it be this one: You are already enough.
You are already enough.
You do not need to organize a perfect planner to be enough.
You do not need to DIY your entire home to be enough.
You do not need to make one new recipe per week to be enough.
You do not need that job promotion to be enough.
You do not need your boyfriend to propose to be enough.
You do not need to plan that 'perfect' wedding to be enough.
You do not need to always have a smile on your face to be enough.
You don't need to lose five, twenty, fifty pounds to be enough.
And you really don't need to tick every single goal or item off your to-do list to be enough.
It seems to me that productivity is a real sneaky one to watch out for. Feeling productive. Thinking over everything you did for the day and judging yourself off of that. Your to-do list does not equate your self worth. If you got nothing "done" all day, you still accomplished great feats.
I can hear you list makers yelling 'noo, I need my lists!'. Fear not. I'm with you. I love me a good crossing off of the list. So I have compiled you a new list to use daily as your got-this-done list:
Waking up alive, existing as a human being.
Having a heart that beats and functions properly.
Having lungs that allow air in and out of your body.
Blinking multiple times in just one day.
Feet that keep you upright, legs, arms, hands, fingers and toes that work.
Having thoughts, daydreams, and imaginations.
Eating. (Bonus: you can write this a few times so each one gets to be crossed off!)
Having a loving and generous heart, a soul of your own, and a mind to use.
Giving and receiving Love.
LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE ALREADY DONE TODAY! And that's just for starters. Sometimes I get crazy and throw things in like stretching, sneezing, or yawning. Jokes aside, these things are worthy of celebrations. They are precious gifts. In one day's time we achieve miraculous things but wind up annoyed that we didn't make it to the bank or the post office. You are not your paycheck, you are not your promotion, you are not the karats in your ring, you are not your facebook stats.
Here's the coolest part about accepting all of this: when we see how very much enough we are right now, and fill ourselves up on that, it can't help but overflow and pour out to the ones around us. This inner light of acceptance of ourselves. When I started this whole journey of seeking and growth, it was pretty selfish. I thought it would help revive me, understand me, and get me what I wanted. But one of the many endless gifts I've received has been the joy in seeing the affect and change it has on my loved ones. The more I lean into the truth that I'm enough, that I'm worthy, they also see it about themselves. I think it's pretty common for women to be motivated to put others before themselves. That caregiver trait is loud and strong. So put all of this in the context that when you accept that you're enough and your thoughts, words and actions reflect that, you are taking care of the people around you. Pretty motivating, no?
Let's be honest: I am more than guilty of this, too. I have a strange lifestyle where there are times when I won't "accomplish" much of anything all day. I don't have an office to go to where other people may pay me a compliment or provide external validation or, you know, conversation. Plus, as I said before, I seriously love a good list and can get wrapped up in it. However, I know the signs well enough to stop, pay attention to my thoughts and feelings and remedy the situation. When I hear friends judging themselves so harshly, my heart aches for them. Because I'm me, and they are them, I can say all of this to them. They laugh but they hear me. But I want to say it to you, too. The person reading this.
You are enough. Your worth and value are not determined by outside sources. You matter.