Thursday, December 20, 2012

On Truer Words Were Never Spoken

This quote came into my world a week or two ago via le paintyhands.
(do you know paintyhands? she reminds me of me when i'm brave, & inspires me when i am not so brave.)
And I read it. And my brain went squish, thump, pound, bang, boom. And my heart went burst.
Because there it was. Right there in front of me. The very thing I didn't know I had been looking for!
See, I have this sneaky little belief system. It tells me I have to pick between career and relationship.
My art and my Love. It tells me that I can't have both.
This is trouble for so many reasons. See, I'm not me without my art, without performing, creating.
But, if I had to pick between that and Love and being Loved and Loving.. well, no contest.
I think Loving someone means choosing them every single day, even when you're annoyed or frustrated or think they will literally never learn or all those other fun things. You make a choice to choose them. But I think one must choose herself every day, too. We all have committed relationships with ourselves, you know.
So in short, if I pick me every day then that means picking me as who I truly am: an artist, a performer. So then I am picking my career every day. And then my belief system pops up and says "okie doke, you can only have one! guess you picked career! see ya love, see ya relationship, see ya etc."
and I'm all "no! wait! i'll pick the other." So I pick relationship and bid art adieu and then I'm not fully myself. And if I'm not honoring myself I can't pick me and well, needless to say, no one else will either. Because when someone Loves you, darn it if they don't Love you for who you truly are.

If you are still reading this and made it through that explanation, I applaud you.

But then, I read this quote, these words.
Both! Side by side with another artist. Both of you creating while inspiring each other.
And thus the mega mind blowing occurred because I have never thought of this before.
All these endless years of that pesky belief system kicking in, never once did I realize I can have both.
I don't have to downplay my artistry to balance out being with another artist
(and lord help me, we all know i'm only ever with other artists. every darn kind, i've tried)
just like they don't have to downplay theirs. And I don't have to feel weird about being a muse.
Actually, I think it's cool. Plus, I've had many a muse myself. Hello, I write songs for goodness sake!

So in short, my eyes stumbling upon this little quote basically changed my life.
And you know what is so delicious about belief systems? The most wonderful part?
Once you identify one of them, once you call it out, you get to start changing it.
And I super can't wait for the day where I get to laugh over how I used to think I had to pick.
Both muse and maker! BOTH muse AND maker. Oh, this is gonna be good, friends.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. exactly. AND i am pumped to go read your post today :) :)

  2. well i can so relate to this. the older i get (i mean i'm only 25, but still) the harder it gets to build relationships in one way, because i know myself more and that makes it harder to fit with someone else. at the same time, growing up means i have a lot more to offer so i'd say, even though it takes more time to find the good ones, they are more worth it. but back to the career thing...i recently had a chat with a girl who spoke to MY soul. she is an OBGYN and she said that when she was in med school a lot of guys were intimidated by her, she said "the always wanted me to be less than i was." and then she met her husband and then said, "he made me feel like i could fly." i LOVED that! it's true -- we can and should be EVERYTHING we have the capability of being...just let ourselves loose and stretch as far as we can. because why would i want to find a guy that matches best with me when i'm playing small? i don't. i want one who finds me when my wings are spread as far as they can be and he still fits me perfectly just the same because he's reaching just as far. now i feel like i've written a blog post as a comment so don't be surprised if this shows up on my blog soon, haha