on THAT WALK HOME WHERE IT ALL MADE SENSE

A couple weekends ago (edit: uh, like, a month now? maybe?), I met up with a friend for an early dinner. I hadn't seen him in a couple of years, but we'd kept up through texts, and facebook, as you do. We've probably hung out less than ten times in the years we've known each other, but all of them have significantly affected me. On this day, our chat shook me out of a state I had unknowingly fallen into.

We were talking about how he'd ended up in his (first) dream career as a professional athlete, by somewhat stumbling into a field that most people train for their entire lives. And then how he'd gotten into the next (dream) career, this one taking a good amount of schooling and a move across the country, putting him on the very subway car that we met on. I listened to him talk so casually about these amazing things he's achieved, and his can-do attitude, before bursting out with laughter, asking how was it that we'd ever dated, since we were clearly so different. His classic smile appeared on his face, and without missing a beat, he reminded me that I'm just like him. That the very traits I admire within him, are also within me. That we're both 'those kind of people' who push limits and do things that normal people don't always take the risk of doing.

Oh. Right. I had forgotten.

We wrapped up dinner and as I started toward home, I decided to walk through Central Park. I didn't really know this side of the park and started to get nervous that I'd end up lost or turned around. But something louder told me to just keep going, putting one foot in front of the other. So I did. A cycle began; I'd be moving forward for awhile, then I'd start to get nervous, remind myself that I was safe and it was fine and to just keep going, and on and on.

I don't know about you, but this is how I move toward what I want in life. I'm on the path to it, but then I get scared, nervous, worried that I can't trust myself, thinking I should look to others, everything starts to blur.. and then, I remember. I am on the right path, exactly where I should be, heading toward the place I want to be. I am safe, I am loved, I am taken care of and I can listen to myself for guidance. The more I let my feet (actions) lead me, the less my fear (mind) can take over.

In return, I got these beautiful gifts from the world. Stunning views with light catching just so on the buildings, as the sun slowly made it's way to bed. A fountain that I'd never seen, but always wanted to. Gorgeous ceiling tiles and architecture to take in. And when I finally made it across and out of the park, the most beautiful sunset was waiting for me.

You are safe, you are loved, you are on your path, you are where you're meant to be. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

on SERENITY

"Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; 

serenity, that nothing is." - Thomas Szasz

sometimes, i think the best thing in the world is being caught unprepared for free time.

see, if i know i have free time between appointments, etc, then i bring

a book, a notebook, pens, a list of to-do/calls, maybe a project, plan where i'll go during that time, etc.

but when you're caught by surprise with some free time, waiting for friends in new york city,

sometimes your feet take you down a pretty street, to a welcoming bench, where you sit and watch.

and breathe. and think. and listen. and be. and just enjoy that time.

enjoy your time today, friends. xo

ON Mornings With Lady & Afternoons With Henry

Lady is soft and gentle, like the morning. She rises slowly, the way the sun pours into the world, eases into the day, takes her time coming into focus. She can linger in bed for hours, wants to be held, and snuggle, moves delicately, walks with a dainty attitude, and is so very much a girl.

Henry is a burst of energy, like an inviting afternoon. He is tugging, moving toward something, running, playing, chasing down whatever catches his eye. He finds every possible patch of mud and jumps in it. He wants to explore, have his own space, while checking that I'm nearby, testing limits, and is so very much a boy.

My furry babies still can't be in the same room yet. Well, they can, but it's tough times. But I have faith that it will happen soon. A mother always knows. Until then, it's time with each of them, and loving them for their own unique ways. My morning girl, and my afternoon boy, and my heart bursting with love.

ON A Day In The Life

My days are always different. There are a few constants: meditating, dogs, walking, writing, social media, the subway, and being creative. Those are pretty standard. Otherwise? Anything's game. Just the way I like it! Here's a look at how today went down:

8:36 am: Alarm goes off. Not even close to the time I actually got up. After I finally wake, I meditate for 20 minutes. First thing in the morning, and non-negotiable. Lady and I revel in the glory of a new day by playing and snuggling for a few minutes then she heads back under the covers (literally) and I get to showering, dressing, and breakfast-ing. I do a bit of work for my first job.

11 am: Down to the West Village. Why don't I come here more? It's so cute and welcoming and doesn't feel at all like Manhattan and.. oh, now I'm lost and recall why I don't come here more often. I race to make my first audition today on time.

11:30 am: First audition. It's on-camera and I don't think the racing here did me any favors but when I mention it they laugh and assure me the camera is unable to show sweat. They're honestly the nicest casting team I've ever auditioned for. I want the job. Fifteen minutes later, I leave, get lost again, and head back uptown.

12 pm: Lady and I adventure to Central Park. It's so beautiful with the trees and flowers in full bloom. Everyone is so happy, alert, faces tilted up toward the sun. We walk for a long time and make friends with a woman and her two large dogs. She had her first when the second needed a home immediately and she took him in. That was that. The boys are so clearly brothers and I find myself learning more life lessons from dogs.

1-2 pm: Catching up on work, emails, posting.

2 pm: We take a lunch break. I re-create my favorite meal from Portland, (veggie) hot dogs with hummus and avocado. Don't knock it till you try it, it's unreal. Lady and I watch Hart of Dixie for approx 7 minutes.

2:30 pm: Back on the train, downtown again but the east side this time. I get to my agents and wait a few minutes before recording an audition, and chat with one of the assistants before heading back out. I meet a girlfriend a block away to lend her my ipad and have all of three minutes to spare before walking uptown again.

3:30 pm: Stop into Starbucks for my secret weapon: tall 2 pump soy chai. I go over my notes for my meeting and chug that sugar-water like it's my job. Since I've been meditating, I need way less caffeine but still can't fully quit the 'bucks. The atmosphere just gets me.

4 pm: Arrive at the HomePolish office and have a great meeting with my boss. I get so excited talking about interior design that I have to remind myself this is a business meeting. He gets just as excited so it's cool.

5:30 pm: Off the train and back out the door with Ladybugs. We visit Lincoln Center and make friends with a tiger striped pup, this gorgeous Pit/Boxer mix, and as we walk away it makes me laugh how dog owners always exchange their pups names and info but never their own.

6 pm: Second Meditation of the day. This practice has changed my life in a way I can't really explain. My best attempt is to say that aside from being able to handle whatever is thrown at me with grace, and feeling calmer, there's this rising up that happens. Like I just keep growing, gaining strength, wisdom, and patience. I'm not great at explaining it but Emily is, so watch her videos.

6:40 pm: I pick up my newest doggie client and we go for our first walk. Sweet Caesar is a gorgeous boy, and full of wriggling around, so the clearest photo I could get is posted here.

7:20 pm: I chat with my mom while walking home and get back to working. Dinner is made sometime around 9 and at present moment, it's 10:30 and I've still got a handful of blog posts to write (for my job, not here) and a schedule to set for tomorrow. It's supposed to be my easy day and so far it's looking slightly insane.

I wrote someone a reply last night to the question of what jobs am I working on right now. Sometimes I forget how insane it is that I'm an auditioning and working actor, plus working for two interior design companies (on opposite coasts), plus running my own dog nannying business, plus running my own blog and website and social media, maintaining a social life, caring for Lady, and doing regular life stuff like cleaning and cooking. When I looked at it all written out last night, I laughed.

Awhile ago, I had a lot of free time. So much. It was overwhelming. But this calm, quiet voice told me to appreciate it while I had it because I would never have it again. And so the times when I felt like I was going to lose my mind or felt painfully lonely, I would trust that voice and relax into it. And now, being on the other side, in the mayhem that my gut promised me, I can't tell you how happy I am that I did and how happy I am that I had that time. Okay, friends, time to get back to work and get some sleep. How are your days looking lately? Do you have a schedule? Tell me about it in the comments! xo

ON Lady meets nyc (& i guess it's okay here)

 

Lady is painting the town red. Just taking over Manhattan like she owns the joint. Makes me oh so proud. A woman on a mission, she is! Since we've gotten back to town, she's been to Lincoln Center, taking in art and culture, and all over Central Park. There are new rules here, mainly one big one entitled: "Lady don't eat that!". In LA, it was okay to eat some stuff on the ground, not too much but once in awhile it was okay. She could get her nose in whatever and slide her little wriggly body, snout first, ending up on her back and rolling on the sidewalk to fully engage in whatever scent she was smelling. (Dog owners you know what I'm talking about, am I right?) But here, it's a lot of "Leave it!" & a whole bunch of "No ma'am, you may not".

We've explored most of the upper west side, and today we finally caved and bought a hoodie that is perfectly Lady sized (big ups to the guy working at petco who casually slid my starbucks cup out of my hands before disaster struck in the form of me spilling it everywhere) because apparently NYC is on strike from warm weather. What gives, city? Get onboard! Warm weather is all the rage and I'd really like to stop wearing my sleeping bag aka coat. We've taken a vote, Lady and I, and we prefer it in LA. We like to run around with very-little-to-no clothing, bare feet, bright eyes. We're free spirits and we can't help it.

Lady is hysterical. She does these little run-jump-skips in excitement and leaps up and down, twirling, when she sees I've taken her leash out. She laughs, mouth wide open. And she sleeps in my bed, paws or back pressed on to me, sometimes I wake up and her head is against mine. Even now as I type this, she's slid her way into my side of the bed, nestled between my pillow and the folded over part of the blanket. And on her paws, all the dirt from all the exploring, right there where I sleep. And I don't even care. Oh Lady, you wild woman, you sure have captured my heart.

p.s. you've heard all about GFC (google's blog reader) ending this summer, right? do me a solid and scroll up and click the 'follow with bloglovin' button, would you? this will ensure you won't miss a single entry in the fascinating world that is my life. you are welcome, friend.